The 213 things Skippy is no longer allowed to do in the U.S. Army

Here are some of my favorites:

31. Not allowed to let sock puppets take responsibility for any of my actions.

32. Not allowed to let sock puppets take command of my post.

77. The MP checkpoint is not an Imperial Stormtrooper roadblock, so I should not tell them “You don’t need to see my identification, these are not the droids you are looking for.”

102. Rodents are not entitled to burial with full military honors, even if they are “casualties of war”.

136. Shouting “Let’s do the village! Let’s do the whole fucking village!” while out on a mission is bad.