Sunday, April 13, 2008

100 Awesomely Bad Pickup Lines

Courtesy of Juvenile Comedy - which apparently no longer exists.

Some of my favorites:

3.) Let's play war. I'll lay down, and you have sex with my penis.

4.) I'm going to stare at your boobs now. Here I go.

7.) Your hair smells like bacon. Do you work at Denny's?

11.) My magic watch says you have genital herpes. You don't? Oh, then I guess it must be an hour fast.

17.) Do you wash your clothes in Windex? Because ammonia gives me a huge boner.

20.) They call me Snowstorm, cause I give you 1-2 inches and make your life a bit more annoying for a week or so.

23.) I was hoping you could settle a bet between me and my friend here. He says your eyes are naturally blue, and I say that you're a filthy, dirty whore.

26.) *Snap fingers. Point at crotch.*

Sunday, April 6, 2008

The Nine Most Badass Bible Verses

A true reminder of how the Bible is the gnarliest story ever told. As David Wong put it:

"If the Bible had been written by King Leonidas and the rest of the Spartans from 300, it would probably read pretty much the same as it does now."